(NOTE: These are NOT our photos! This is our own wedding day photographed in 2017! These don’t reflect our current style or what we personally offer clients. This is just for fun for you to see what our own wedding day was like! The photographer who took these is no longer in business.)
We didn’t think we could go on much further with sharing sacrament stories without sharing the story of our own Catholic Wedding Day! And it’s especially fitting that our 8th anniversary happens to be next week on 3/18 as we are writing this. So much has changed since that day. Obviously our family size being the biggest difference. But so has the wedding industry, the trends, our personal tastes, and more. There are all kinds of things we can’t wait to share with you so let’s dive in!
Getting Ready
The first thing you need to know is that we had a huge wedding with over 300 invitations going out to our family and friends. And since we had to feed all of those people and host them at a massive venue, our budget for everything else shrank quickly. So no professional make-up or hairstyles for me (Megan)! Looking back now, that was perfect for my personality because I loved being able to have a calm relaxing morning in my childhood home with nothing to do but get ready on my own time. My closest friends and family members got ready with me all morning; lots of snack and fun conversation all morning. It was perfect.
Side note: I knew NOTHING about photography yet and something I would have been sure to do if I had known was to a) open every single window to offer as much natural light as possible for my photographer and b) put clutter and bags and absolutely anything not being used aside or in another room. My photos would have been much less cluttered that way! Also, I love that my then almost Sister-In-Law was already onto the polaroid trend! She gifted me a little stack at the end of my day and she’s the real inspiration for me doing that for my couples today.
Pre-Mass Jitters
When I say that I (Megan) was nervous right before our wedding Mass, I MEAN it! And it’s why I understand so well what you ladies experience in those last few moments before you say “I do”. (It’s also why I tend to let you have your space; I’m very glad the moment before I walked down the aisle was just me and my dad. The tears were allowed to flow without worrying how they would look on camera!) For the final hour before hour wedding Mass, I stayed tucked away in the school cafeteria next door to church. I saw my dad for the first time, enjoyed a little fun with my flower girl and ring bearer, read a note from Joey, and prayed a rosary with my bridesmaids.
Meanwhile, Joey got a few photos taken while guests began to arrive. We had friends lead the rosary in the final 20 minutes before Mass to keep the atmosphere quiet and prayerful. We also had multiple praise and worship songs sung as prelude music to set the tone for what was about to happen. The walk from the cafeteria to the back of church seemed never ending. I’ll never forget how emotional I was as I got situated in the vestibule and heard the music swell cuing that it was almost time for me to head down the aisle. I just really couldn’t believe that I was finally about to marry the love of my life. (And I’m not going to lie, I was having quite the nervous adrenaline rush knowing I’d be seen by nearly 300 people!)
Our Wedding Mass
Our Wedding Mass was our favorite Mass ever and always will be. From the serving troupe comprised of dear family friends to the carefully chosen hymns and readings, it was so personal and so special. One of the highlights was the choir from a local church that graciously sang for us in return for a donation to their church since our small parish had a choir of only a few members. It was so neat to see all the choir pews full as they brought the music of our Mass to life.
Now we have to let you in on something we think is the neatest part of our sacrament: it’s timing in the year! You may have noticed by now, that we were married in the season of Lent. People honestly think it was crazy. And maybe it was. But, we’re here to say that weddings do in fact happen in Lent and there is nothing in church doctrine that prevents it. Like all things in the Catholic Church, there are guidelines though. Here’s what you need to know about a lenten wedding:
- According to the church, having a lenten wedding is a “pastoral decision” meaning that individual priests have the authority to decided whether or not they or their parish will be willing to preform weddings masses during the lenten season. Essentially, a priest can hold the opinion that the sacrament is more important than celebrating the liturgical season or vice versa.
- It is suggested that the wedding refrains from being overtly celebratory and takes on a more solemn tone fitting for the season (our priest explained this to be little to no flowers, simple musical choices, and little to no decorations in the church.)
- You are allowed to have the Gloria sung at your wedding Mass! However, only on days and times when the liturgical readings are allowed to be replaced with the wedding liturgy such as on a Saturday afternoon. Saturday evening Masses and Sunday Masses must use the Lenten liturgy and the Gloria is omitted.
- A great date during Lenten weddings (that happened to work out very well for us) is the eve or actual date of the solemnity of the Feast of St. Joseph. This doesn’t always fall on a weekend, but it did in 2017!
- You obviously can’t get married on Holy Thursday, Good Friday or Holy Saturday (aka, the Easter Triduum).
- And of course it is especially advised not to have a wedding on a Friday during lent. While it can technically be done, it is a day of fasting and abstinence in particular during lent. You would be required to serve no meat at your reception and celebrating in general would feel especially inappropriate.
In short, we wouldn’t say run to get married in Lent because it’s clearly not the most ideal time in the liturgical calendar. But we do encourage you not to stress if it seems like the only time that will work in your life timeline or schedule is to get married in Lent! It can be done and done with simplicity and beauty. The way we see it, even in the journey towards the cross as we await Easter, there is still beauty all around us that God allows us to experience!
Quick Note: Can a non-Catholic photographer do a good job capturing a Catholic wedding? Of course. Can a non-Catholic photographer get the same shots that a Catholic photographer can? Kindly, we don’t think so. We have good photos to remember the basics of what happened on our day for which we are very grateful. But we are missing some of *thee* most important shots such as us receiving the Eucharist and the Consecration and other little moments that really meant a lot. Overall, we felt that our final gallery really didn’t showcase the Mass as we would have liked and we know that is because we didn’t have someone who understood the faith capturing it. Learn from us and invest in the Catholic Photographer!
Post-Mass Portraits
We have the best families who made our portraits after Mass so much fun and honestly it’s one of my personal favorite parts of the day. I laughed a lot and of course Joey and I were both on a high of sacramental graces and pure joy. As evidenced by the coats in the outdoor photos, it was NOT spring yet and the temperature lingered somewhere around 35 degrees with a little bit of drizzle + wintery mix. Needless to say, we kept the photo time outside short and sweet!
Party Time!
Another favorite memory of mine (and maybe not so favorite memory for Joey) was our drive from the church to our reception venue. We had appetizers for cocktail hour for our guests, but our venue had forgotten drinks. So on our entire drive between the venues, Joey had to call the owner and ask him to bring drinks ASAP. He was so kind yet so demanding and it was hard for me, my brother, and my sister (our Best Man and Matron of Honor) to keep a straight face. It’s definitely something we still laugh about today but Joey was so stressed and rightfully so! Thankfully the problem was resolved – it just meant dozens and dozens of 2 liter pop bottles to clean up at the end of the night.
Because of the spring rain, we had to trudge through mud to get to our entrance door that was tucked away from the main entrance of the venue. But what a rush to walk in to our family and friends cheering for us! Are entrance song was a corny but fitting choice of County Fair by Lonestar as a nod to our Fair King and Queen days. Our family members gave loving speeches and my dad thoroughly embarrassed me with his welcome toast (what are dads for?) All followed by a sweet cake cutting, playing the infamous and very popular to the 2010s shoe game, and first dances. Fun fact: Our guests were served Bill’s Donuts instead of cake!
About my dress: it couldn’t be bustled in a typical fashion due to the layers of tulle in the train so my sister had to fashion the best bustle she could with some ribbon covered pins I made (as seen above). It wasn’t ideal but it kept me from tripping most of the night at least. One fateful moment during the reception, someone stepped on it’s edge and as I pulled away, a full layer of tulle was roughly ripped from the dress. But it’s scars are beautiful. In fact, it’s such a quirky dress as it came second hand from a girl I connected with on a bridal resale platform called “OnceWed” (it’s no longer available but similar sites exist.) We actually talked on the phone and are still Facebook friends to this day! I’ll be ever grateful to her and the story of our shared dress. Because it was so worn and beyond repair by the time the reception was over, I chose to never preserve it and instead put it back on every year for our anniversary. Thankfully it has a forgiving cut so despite my changing size over the years, it still goes on.
The wedding fun continued as we played a rather rowdy game of scavenger hunt musical chairs which everyone helped me win (infuriating for me since I’m actually a really competitive person that would have liked to win fair and square!) We tossed candy to all our little guests of which there were MANY! So many that I created a personalized coloring book for them and I still have some of the best ones that were left in our card box for us to see.
It truly went so fast. The reception was five hours long and yet it felt like 20 minutes. We had so much fun. I’ll never forget when the lights came on and I watched my brothers pack all of the gifts up into our old family van. My mom hugged me tight and we were shooed out the door, handed leftover donuts for the next morning, and told not to bother with the rest of the clean-up. Every married couple knows that surreal feeling of hopping into the car for the first time as husband and wife realizing that you started your new lives together! It’s crazy! And away we went to crash at our big empty house before hoping out of bed VERY early to get to Mass before our flight to Disney World the next morning.
We hope you enjoyed reliving our wedding day with us! Cheers to EIGHT Years!
With love,
Megan + Joey Wolf
